he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
