Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
