"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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