I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
