I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
