using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Semen is not good for contacts.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
True college students do jello shots in the library
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
