The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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