No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
When are your genitals available?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
