well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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