Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
