hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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