so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
