Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
