You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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