I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
