in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
