puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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