Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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