Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
