Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
