Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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