If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
