when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
