he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
