Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
