dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
