is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
