I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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