hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You ruined the universe
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
