a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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