im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
