Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
