a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
