you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
