theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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