im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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