WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You've changed since you got that strap on
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
