That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
tell your sister to shave her snatch
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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