You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I need to sanitize my soul.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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