After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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