Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
