And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
