I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
