in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
