I think I am morally bankrupt
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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