great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
