He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
