over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
