we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
