This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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