Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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